I wrote the following post as part of the beginning of my last post on Friendship.  I took it out, though, because that post was getting way too long.  So here it is for you now.  Enjoy!

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This year at Winter Conference (I spent Dec 26th to Jan 1st there) was a first for me in a couple of ways.  This was my first time at Eastern Winter Conference in Toronto – my last 4 Conference experiences were always in the West.  This was also my first time as staff at Conference.  I quite liked being on staff at Conference, and one of my favorite parts of the day was being at Staff Meeting at 8AM each morning.  I just love staff, for much of the same reasons I love C4C students.  One of my favorite times this year was early in December when I got to spend a week with the Eastern Canadian staff at “Campus Training Days”, up in a snowy, isolated spot in Ontario.  Anyways, I feel like many of my colleagues are friends I really enjoy, and I’m sad that I don’t know many of them nearly as well as I’d like, since we’re all over the place in different parts of Eastern Canada.  Sometimes we refer to ourselves as a “staff family”.  It’s an apt description.

Another part of being on staff that I liked was feeling like I was able to influence, in small ways, the experience that students had at Conference (for the better, I hope).  I wish I had gotten to do more, and also that I had done a better job, but I tried my best to work with the video, Powerpoint, and worship lyric backgrounds in a way that helped students glorify God and take in what was being presented.  I do love tech/presentation stuff 😛  Half of my staff duties at Conference was just as I described – working with the audio/visual tech stuff under Silas’ supervision.  Another perk of being in the back in main sessions was that I found my worship experience was a little different.  Surrounded by just a handful of fellow staff (or volunteers), I felt freer to put my hands up when I felt like expressing that to God, for example.  I’m always quite self-conscious about that sort of thing, and for a part of me, that just isn’t natural when I know other people can see me.  But when I’m in the back, with just a few people that I know pretty well anyways, I feel like I can do whatever I want and just do it towards God.

I found that Eastern Winter Conference (~500 students) was only slightly bigger (in feel) than Western Winter Conference (typically 300+ students?).  The biggest difference I found this year had to do with me, not the Conference.  I went into this Conference knowing that I was in a transient time in my life.  I didn’t know, and I still don’t know, what exactly I’ll be doing in May.  Or July.  I’ve gained a lot more over the last week that I can use to make my decision, but a big component of my Conference experience was this awareness that my life is a little unstable right now.  I wasn’t a student, but I wasn’t a full-time comissioned staff, either, so I guess that made me feel a little in-between in life.  That is unsettling, but unsettling should be ok for Christ-followers because God desires to trust in Him and His goodness, anyways.  Especially when life tries to give you reasons to be scared.

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