I have mixed emotions as I write this blog post. It’s both bitter & sweet, and it’s largely due to where I am right now as I write this (slightly tongue-in-cheek, coming up)… Where am I, you might be wondering? I’m currently sitting in my car, in a covered parking lot at Fairview Mall in Toronto (Don Mills area)…
I’m happy because I’m typing this up with my door open and my seat reclined back, working away on Melly (my laptop)’s keyboard, while my iPhone is giving me a GREAT Internet connection. Yes, I am doing what’s known as Internet “tethering” – using my iPhone as a cellular modem for my laptop. And it is pretty responsive and speedy, I must say. This makes me happy inside 😀
Unfortunately, being here in Toronto means that it’s almost time to go back to Waterloo. Ordinarily, this wouldn’t be a big deal. I occassionally get to visit friends here in Toronto. But this time is different – I will be making the westward drive on the 401 highway for the last time. Ever.
Ok, maybe not ever. But for awhile, at least. The next time I head out this way, it’ll be on Wednesday morning as I get ready to board my flight from YYZ (Toronto/Pearson International Airport) out west to Saskatoon (and then shortly after that, Vancouver in Beautiful British Columbia).
I guess all this wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for a few things: 1) I’m not packed yet, and I have a handful of random things I will need to take care of that I really hope I can find the time to get done; and 2) I have no idea what awaits me after arriving home in Vancouver. I am jobless, after all.
But I don’t want to sound like I’m complaining. If there’s anything I learned from South East Africa project ’09, it’s that complaining is a really bad problem and that I complain a whole lot (and I never knew it)! Honestly, I’m not complaining! I’m just a little sad at the precariousness of my current position – but in perspective, though, it’s really not that bad. I can still trust in my God to bring me through this current season of life. He has been nice to me in countless ways and He is trustworthy, even if I’m feeling very unsure of everything. Even though I feel really quite fragile in many ways.
Keep on swimming… as Dorrie from Finding Nemo says. Not blindly. Not necessarily knowing where we’re headed, either. But with good reason to keep trusting… and ‘perservering’ (which is quite possibily the uncoolest word of our generation).